How to support a corrupt government: For beginners

Well people, here we will discuss easy steps to learn how to support a corrupt government. This tutorial is for beginners as some youngsters are finding it difficult to support the current corrupt government in Pakistan. In order to support a corrupt government you must have…

a)         A corrupt government 

            (you can find it easily in any third world country)

b)        Illiterate population
            (in Pakistan’s case, you can consider the literate ones also) 

c)        Patience (or ignorance)

Once you have all three elements above you are ready to support a corrupt government. Please follow these simple steps below.

Step 1: No matter how corrupt your political party is, always support the party representing your cast, religion or ethnicity. Never listen to this patriotism bullshit.

Step 2: Defend your political party for all the wrong deeds, if any journalist/ media person criticizes your corrupt leader, make it a national issue, burn buses and flags, block roads, stage rallies. Hence harm the public property and mean no harm to the leader or the journalist.

Step 3: Have your own definition of Corruption, never accept that bribing a Policeman, taking prints from an office printer or using office phone for personal calls, are types of corruption. Avail corruption opportunities wherever available and blame government for endorsing corruption on a higher level (Since you cant avail it)

Step 4: When electricity or petrol prices go high or a new tax is implemented, and you feel tensed while watching news anchors condemning the government move, switch to any Indian channel, watch Star Parivar Awards or any senseless comedy movie like Dabangg and laugh out louder to relax.

Step 5: When you are agitated by the additional taxes and hence overall inflation never think of a demonstration or to condemn the government move at any level, just think “I am not the only one paying these taxes. Why doesn’t anyone else oppose this?? I am just a common man, what can I do?? etc.”

We believe following these steps will make it easier for you to support the current or any corrupt government. Please contact us at pakmetroblog@gmail.com for any complains and do let us know if you have other ways of supporting the corrupt government. We will keep posting more “HOW TOs” like this.

Muhammad Khawar
Pakmetro Blog